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Our 10 month old boy co-sleeps with us, since birth

Hi Maree, we`re in a desperate situation. Our 10 month old boy co-sleeps with us, since birth. I`ve have countless agruments with my dear wife about it. He doesn`t fall asleep on his own, and needs an aid (pacifier/bottle) he also sleeps in her arms...always.

He takes 2/3 bottles at night and I`m unsure of the amount during the day as I`m at work.

I would love to get him in his own bed and sleep through the night!

A desperate dad in help

Answer: Hi, Nice to hear from Dad for a change and very happy to help you where ever I can. Firstly I can enlighten you as to what`s happening here, your son simply does not know how to sleep without your wife. When a baby or toddler falls asleep in one place and wakes on his light sleep (as we all do) in another, they need that same comfort to return to sleep, whether it was rocking or feeding to sleep. Imagine you went to sleep in your bed and woke up in the bath at 3am!! you`d get a fright and need to return to your bed next to your wife to return to sleep, same for bub. To change this baby must learn to sleep independently and they way we teach this is to have baby settled awake into their cot so when they wake on their light sleep they look around and are exactly where and how they went to sleep and resettle themselves. How do I know this, because I was in exactly the same place 9 years ago with a 12month old son who had never slept through the night and only knew how to sleep with me, after discovering that there was hope and in one day of learning how to settle him awake into the cot he has slept through the night ever since. He`s 10 now and we are the best friends in the world, and I`m still helping other parents to get their babies to sleep. Having said all this if your wife is not ready to make the change this is not going to happen, you both need to be in agreeance as this is hard and heart breaking and the techniques are not for everyone. Also I guarantee he does not eat as much as expected during the day because he is filling up overnight and it becomes a cycle. It is essential that the night feeding stops when implementing the settling program but this means he will eat more during the day. You can get details from `Your Baby`s Sleep` or www.itstimetosleep.com I hope this helps and all the best. Cheers, Maree
Answered: 08 Jul 2009