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I don`t want her to turn into a bully

Hi Betty, my just 2year old girl has just recently started pushing other children and even knocking one boy down and sitting on his back. As soon as it happens I get down to her level talk to her telling her that this sort of behaviour is not acceptable give her time out then ask her if she knows what she has done wrong which she always tells me and then she says sorry to the individual and gives them a hug. I know this can be normal behaviour however one of the mothers is getting upset and telling my litlle girl in a harsh voice that she will never have any friends (her little boy isn`t in child care and he cries all the time), the other mother is very good and is aware of the stage she is going through but I am very embarrassed and need to know if there is anything else I can do to curb this behaviour I don`t want her to turn into a bully.

Answer: Hi, your daughter isnt a bully as she is 2 and doing what other normal 2 year olds do. You seem to be managing the situation well regarding her behaviour- so well done. When you are using your approach be firm but kind versus angry and stressed. Regarding the other mother, well she is fairly out of line on a number of fronts making these comments: they are illogical, unscientific, unhelpful and bullyish in nature, and are contributing I would guess to you feeling a loss of confidence around your child and your parenting. I would consider that the job of a mother is protecting our children from others, including other mums, who may be nice in a whole lot of ways but whose behaviour we dont admire or tolerate around our children. Depending on how close you are with this mum you may want to discuss it with her - you cant get her to stop being angry and peeved but you might be able to diffuse some of her anger if you enquire about her feelings towards your child - its tricky to advise more without knowing more about your relationship with her. In the end you are the mum, and need to be the one that manages this so you and your child are safe and happy - Another strategy to deal with this issue is to think of all the wonderful qualities in your child and how well she responds to your management approaches and use this to calm yourself in the face of unwarranted comments from others. Take Care, Betty
Answered: 22 Nov 2007