I’ve always been a defender of my gender. Looking back throughout the pregnancy however, I think we are a few nappies short of the 78 pack. I think that despite every sign I didn’t really understand that a baby was coming. I think the proof is in the phrases:
Men: “when the baby gets here…”
Women: “the baby IS ALREADY here” it’s just on the inside."
So for me, an idiot, when the baby popped out, my initial reaction was out-loud shock. From then on, I think I played a game of catch up in actually bonding with the baby. I loved her, no doubt, but couldn’t quite get used to realizing I had a daughter. Even the words “my daughter” got caught in my throat for weeks afterwards.
Women, on the other hand, seem hard wired for this. Stacey was amazing; like she had been born to be a mum.
Stacey expressed breast milk so that I could do the midnight and early feeds, in order to help out. I loved that midnight feed. Matilda and I sat up and watched everything from Little Robots and Dora the Explorer on Nick Junior to the Ashes, Dutch football, IndyCar racing, whatever was on – and together, we had a great time. I missed it when she started sleeping through the night; my little girl was already growing up. Then again, I got to sleep all night, which was fairly corker.
I’m also very busy at work running my own production company PNMG, but I always planned on taking one day a week off so that I could be with Matilda, and Stacey could keep her brain active, get out of the house, work one day a week – whatever she wanted. Although I haven’t done every Tuesday, I have done 75% of them, and I think that has really helped. Time alone with Matilda taught me how to do all the baby things: changing nappies, cooking, dressing and shopping. It’s great to be a real part of her life, and for me, that’s more important than work.
At first It was hard for me to leave Matilda, but knowing she would enjoy being with her Dad, I forced myself. While I’m usually a control freak I made a concerted effort to not tell Troy how to be a Mum or to be like me. I tried to give him as little instruction as possible and let the 2 of them work it out.
This has its advantages and disadvantages. On one hand they play heaps more games (mainly because Daddy doesn’t have all the other domestic duties when he’s with Matilda). But on the other hand sleeping, eating and bathing are all on a strict ‘whenever I feel like it Daddy’ routine.
This article has been supplied by the makers of the Being Dad DVD. Find out more here.